So...

Yes... I also feel rejected.

I'm not feeling particularly well today.

I feel exhausted, perhaps overwhelmed, though not in a heavy or clouding way. I simply feel lost.

Tomorrow I think I'll go buy some chips. I had told girl M that I could walk her to work, but I think she turned me down because she changed the subject. No. I don't think things should work this way.

I'll try to do something. Because I feel defeated.

I don't feel much, because I'm sad.

That's the most fitting adjective.

Sad.

I don't really like the idea. But I'm mentally preparing myself for a solitary life. I know older people around me with that kind of life. Not glorious, not even financially. Ordinary people, with substandard lives, sometimes subsisting on whatever they can get, who go to the nearest lunch spot alone. With no one to share with. With no one to simply hang out with and rest my head on for a while.

You know? Sometimes I wish I could be reborn. I wish isekai were real. Although it would be amazing to be reborn in a fantasy world where you have absolute power, I also think about a second chance. To relive this life, with everything I know. And do it better. To venture into more things. To stay in normality.

Will I even be able to complete any more projects? 

I don't think so. By the time I finish my degree, I'll already be focused on real life, on finishing my final project. 

There won't be any more reasons to be with M or hang out with my classmates. 

I'll definitely have to dedicate myself to something, and then I'll be exhausted and won't be able to create anything.