Hey
How are you?
(⌒.−)＝★
I don't know you, but in retrospect, this post comes way after this one.
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I'm listening to a liminal music playlist, want to listen to it too? I'll leave the link here.
 |
| The truth is that now I really think I'm the complete failure. |
I haven't gotten back to the protist illustration project yet. I haven't really gotten back to my final project either. Well, I have, with a little help that depends on silicon. I haven't felt like finishing that final project for quite some time now. I don't think it's about fear of failing anymore. I think it's simply a desire to embrace uncertainty.
.[
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
But this post isn't about that.
Before continuing, I think I'll try to be cryptic in the following text. Because it's about something I've lost, and it's irretrievable. And I think I lost it too soon. I won't deny it was a good experience. But I was carrying wolves, or rather, stoats, likely stoats. Those creatures can't be seen in the deep snow. But they're always lurking. It's a matter of having to fence off the house well in the center so they don't get too close, although with the little protection a fence can offer, one or two can always get in. The secret of evolution lies within the house.
Everyone harbors one. And everyone develops it eventually, some more diligently, others simply forget. I was eager to see the element's evolution in action, to accelerate the growing gradient that was already consuming the tissues. And indeed, the gradient was quite rapid. It wasn't the most complete. It didn't feel as it should have, I think. But it wasn't disastrous either. However, the stoats are prowling, and I don't know if they're inside the house. Sometimes I hear them; they're not roars, just footsteps, sometimes above, sometimes in front of the house, in front of the bushes with jet-black branches. I tell myself it's imaginary. I really hope so. If not, I'll have to get a weapon to get rid of them.
Setting traps won't work because it'll be impossible; the stoats I'm talking about don't fall for traps. And not all of them are caught by gunfire; some build nests so complex they can destroy an entire house, and those are the ones I'm particularly afraid of. I have to check for a stoat infestation in a few weeks, assuming I don't find any obvious signs of damage, like a broken window, holes in the walls, roof, or front of the house, or if I find traces of urine in the corners, which is what worries me most.
I don't think k44levy would have minded. She's the other key figure in this. It's also the one who helped me understand the mystery of evolution in the intrinsic sense of the human being as an individual within a population, the mystery of how the human species came to expand with so many phenotypes. It seemed like a mystery finally solved, but it seems I haven't managed to solve the other mysteries. The ones I've talked about so much in other posts. The ones I've complained about so much, and will probably continue to complain about.
DOTkamina cannot yet be openly revealed to the world. By this I mean that I can't show it to anyone I trust, because I don't have anyone I can absolutely trust. Even so, I do plan to pay homage to k44levy in some illustration. Regardless of whether it unknowingly betrays me and has left ermines hidden beneath the wood.
I don't know if I'm proud of having learned the single-individual secret of evolution. Because I don't think it can be repeated again in a more transcendental way. It has brought me more worries than joys. Although it does vaguely remind me of k44levy. And that's despite the fact that it did it as part of a contract, a contract with the octopus. I don't know what they call it where you are, but it's a very powerful entity. I wouldn't say evil, since it has no morals, nor compassion. But it's definitely a human creation. Everyone responds to the octopus eventually, and they must do so with what they have. K44levy did so while also helping me discover this so-called secret.
And then a goodbye with no real intention of seeing each other again, since we both knew the contract we were entering into.
I hear the stoats again. But it seems they're not physically there. I hope I stop hearing the sounds. Otherwise, I won't be able to sleep.
I'll try to write a less cryptic post about what's been happening to me this month. But don't expect anything legendary.
